the mess we call life

Hello my faithful 3 readers. :) And you fringe visitors.

Life has been crazy lately. Obviously I try to keep an active lifestyle. But often I overlook the most important things. Like sharing my Christ and carrying myself like I know God wants me to. I don't go out and pick up women, or go make a fool of myself by getting drunk, but too often I don't have the right attitude when I'm out and about. I'm not always ready to be that voice, that helping hand. A busy schedule and lack of sleep heightens my emotions, and I can snap back at people or have bursts of anger. And anyone who knows me knows that I'm about as easy-going as they come. Yet for example, in my flag football game yesterday, I yelled at the ref after he said the ball hit the ground before I caught it. It was my first reaction, it was short, and everyone in the park probably heard me. It was my gut reaction, and about 10 seconds later I apologized to him. Obviously I'm competitive too, but yelling didn't solve anything. It rarely does. But I've been angry more and in foul moods more than normal, lately.

Life has been crazy. I was back home one week, sick one weekend, up in Grand Haven one weekend, then at in Cincinnati watching the Cubs the next weekend. So I missed a month full of my local church services. And I missed my two small groups during the same time because I worked too late. I admit I slipped up during that time, not in any big way, but by losing focus on things that are important. I hate when I look back and regret decisions I've made, my reactions to events around me, and hurtful or prideful words and attitudes. Thankfully, God forgives and gives us more chances than we deserve. At the same time, I know He is holy and cannot tolerate sin. Puts the fear right back into me.